Dear Kisa,
I’m 17 years old, and I feel the only time I have any sense of spirituality is during the ten nights of Muḥarram. This year, I want things to be different. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Looking for More
Dear Looking for More,
Muḥarram is a blessed month for not only remembering the events of Karbalāʾ but also working on ourselves to become better versions of ourselves. Many of us get busy during the first ten nights, it being the main nights, and then slowly get back into our routines. It is lovely that you want to uplift yourself spiritually beyond the first ten days of Muḥarram. Here are few actionable points that may help you, inshāʾAllāh:
1. Find Out What Your Soul is Craving
The Noble Prophet (ṣ) has said; “The one who knows himself knows his Lord.” Make a niyyah (intention) of embarking on this journey in the name of the shuhadāʾ (martyrs) of Karbalāʾ and try to think about the various aspects of yourself that you’d like to change, and modify. Take inspiration from the martyrs of Karbalāʾ. Maybe it is patience that you want to increase, or the strength to speak up, or develop perseverance etc. Read/find out or listen to lectures that talk about the specific martyred companions and learn more about them. This will help you build a stronger connection with them, increase your knowledge and also stay spiritually connected beyond the 10th Muḥarram.
2. Find Your Spiritual Tribe
This is very important, especially for a young person like you. Finding people who are similarly aligned in spiritual goals helps a lot. Find people near you who are attending the mourning ceremonies/commemorations and gatherings, or hosting online sessions to make the most of the mourning period. Volunteer at your local mosque, find friends who may want to gather and listen to a lecture together, and maybe discuss it afterwards. Sometimes we may find elderly people (in the community) who may need assistance and want to be more active, helping them and being in their company would also help in maintaining the connection you want. The elders can also be a great source of inspiration, wisdom and an opportunity to learn from their own spiritual experiences.
3. Write a Muḥarram Journal
Start this if you haven’t. Write your learnings of this year in one place and build on it each year. These reflections and noting them down will help you process your own thoughts, doubts, and questions you may have. You can reach out to an ʿalīm/ʿalīmah (scholar) to clarify any questions or doubts and gain a better understanding. Reflect back on it each week, this will also help keep a tab on how you’re doing spiritually in general.
4. Listen, Read, Share
Ask others for recommendations, and listen to lectures that you find interesting. Thanks to the digital age we can find many lectures online. They don’t have to be of this year, if the topic interests you, or the speaker interests you, explore more from them. Reading recommended duʿās (supplications), with translation is highly recommended, or pick one or two and spend time reflecting on them. Try to memorize a few verses from the supplications if you find a special connection to them. Read books, or articles, or nawḥas and laṭmiyyahs (lamentations expressing grief) on your own, you can also just listen to them and mourn. It doesn’t have to always be a majlis or a specific month of a year to remember the sacrifice of the martyrs of Karbalāʾ.
5. Reach Out to Your Imām (ʿaj)
Imām Muḥammad al-Mahdī (ʿaj) mourns Karbalāʾ like no one else. Speak to him, give him condolences regularly, ask him how you could be of use and be of service to him. Becoming a companion of Imām al-Ḥujjah (ʿaj) is our ultimate goal as followers of Ahlul Bayt (ʿa). Take time out to sympathize with him, and imagine how he must feel being in ghaybah (occultation).
The journey of self-building, and spiritual development is a beautiful one, it can start whenever you want, from wherever you are and Allah (swt) is so merciful that He will help you through it. He created you in the best of forms, and wants you to strive for perfection.
May Allah (swt) grant you the determination of the Ulul ʿAzm, to stay focused and achieve spiritual heights during this Muḥarram and the ones to come. Āmīn
With duʿās,
Kisa
- Rayshahrī, Muḥammad, Mīzān al-Ḥikmah, Vol. 6, P. 142, Ḥadīth #11923